Ok I Guess

So today went well. so far I've only consumed 1,220 calories. And later I might have one or two little cups of my sugar free 10 calorie raspberry Jello.

Now I know to some that may be a lot. But if you knew me, the uncontrolable, eat all you can eat until you can barely breathe properly, old me; you'd see that 1,220-1,230 calories in a day for me is astonishing.

I'll have to post to let you know if I had some 10 cal Jello or not. I'm leaning towards not right now but we'll see.

I'm proud of myself for today. Let's make it even better tomorrow ;D

Mirror, mirror lie to me; show me what I want to see.

The Rain That Won't Stop

It's raining tears in my room as I sit alone wondering how on earth I got to be this big. Being the biggest I've ever been, makes me feel like I really am that fat ass fucking loser who can't control herself. The beached whale in the room who just stuffs and stuffs her face even when she's not hungry.

I don't want to be this person. I know what my true perfect self looks like. And it's my responsibility to mold my current self into her.

Ana must be so disappointed in me.

I'm sorry I let you down, I'll make it up to you ten fold.

CW: You don't want to know
HT: 5'3''
GW1: 200
GW2: 194

4 inches of rain and counting...